6/23/2018

One step at a time - thank you for everything!

I'm sitting at home and I wonder. I wonder how these three days could pass so quickly. And I already miss everything. I miss it when the lights go down and Barry, Josh, Eric and Brent come on stage. I miss the jumping and singing and screaming. I miss the crying when Brent starts to talk right before they play "Brilliant". I miss crying during "Brilliant" and not having recovered during "Second Chance". I miss Barry going nuts during the show. I miss Stefanie next to me, crying and laughing with me. I miss all of this. I miss Shinedown.

But back to the start. There were these three cities and these three Shinedown shows I went to: Groningen, Amsterdam, and the Graspop Metal Meeting in Dessel, Belgium. I had been to Rock im Park already, but that felt so long ago. And it was just not the same.

06/20/18, Groningen, Netherlands
The show was on. My first Shinedown headline show since June 2016. My first Shinedown headline show without Zach Myers, but thank God there was Josh Sturm who was just as awesome and who did this whole tour with Shinedown so Zach could be with his family when his second son, Avery, was born. Stefanie and I went crazy as soon as "Sound of Madness" started. And we didn't stop until the very end of it all. In the middle of the show, Brent started to talk and his first sentence of this speech was: "When was the last time someone called you wonderful?" That was when the tears started to come and they wouldn't stop until after "Second Chance". Crazy. I thought this was the most emotional Shinedown show I've ever been to. It was at that point.

When it was all over, I went outside and Stef went to her hostel. I drove around in my car, somehow lost. We didn't know where the bus was and so we didn't think we would see the band after the show. But then there was the tour bus and I was all alone standing there until one of the crew, Matt, told me that they'd be there in a minute. And then all of them, Eric, Josh, Barry and Brent, came out to talk to me and that was just the most amazing thing. I can openly say that I have never been happier in my whole life. 

06/21/2018, Amsterdam, Netherlands
Sold out show. Stefanie and me in the front row again. And then things got even more emotional than the day before. Brent introduced "Brilliant" again and I don't know if on purpose, but he talked about so many things I had written down in the letter I had given to him the day before. No words for how I felt. That was just beautiful. Overwhelming. 

We met the band afterwards again and they knew they wouldn't get much sleep before the next show in Belgium, but still they took their time to talk to us. So many kind words, so much love. 

06/22/2018, Dessel, Belgium
The Graspop Metal Meeting. I was still emotional from the day before and I didn't expect to be even close to front row because I was very late. But thanks to the most amazing person, Andy, who let me stand in front of him in the front row, I could enjoy that view one more time for this summer. The set was short, only 45 minutes, but even though they must have been tired as hell, Shinedown gave it all. 


At the signing afterwards so many people came, they couldn't finish during their 30-minute-time-slot. So Eric and Barry decided to walk straight into the queue and talk to those who couldn't get to them anymore. 

This is the shortest version of the story I could think of. There's so much more to say. And the following will be directly for these four guys that made these last three days so very special. But if you like, feel free to read on. 

Dear Barry,
Thank you so much for smiling at me during the shows. For giving me your drumsticks in the end. For talking to me afterwards. My brother was super happy about your voice mail and he definitely will be there in November to see you live again. You are such a kind and gentle person and I know this wouldn't have been as funny and crazy without you. You make people smile by being yourself. You are amazing.

Dear Josh,
You did such a great job on those guitars. Your energy and presence on stage were perfect and I am very happy and grateful that I got to know you. Thank you for making all this possible. Thank you for coming out and talking to me. You will always be a part of the Shinedown family and I hope we can meet again some day. You are amazing.

Dear Eric,
There are no words strong enough to describe how deep my respect for you is, for what you do up on stage every night. Thank you for talking to me after the shows and for making me laugh. You are not only overly talented in almost everything but also very funny and just such a good person. You help people get through their tough times and that is so important. You are amazing.

Dear Brent,
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. For the advice you gave me in Groningen, for listening, for sharing your thoughts with me. I feel so very privileged because you spent so much of your precious time dealing with my issues and sharing parts of yours. And I really mean what I wrote in my letter: If there's anything - anything - I can do to give some of this back, to do at least a tiny part of what you did for me for you, please let me know. I'm sorry for crying in Amsterdam, I didn't want to be strange. You made me happy and you made me feel better. You are amazing.


I am happy and grateful that I could do these shows with you. And I will see you again in November. Be safe and have a safe travel home.

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