State of my head #8

I've been thinking about love and relationships a lot lately. I've been single for five years now and I really got to admit: I like this. 

When reading my older stories and reflecting on how I thought of love and what a perfect relationship must look like, I was trapped in old and conservative views when I was a teenager. I thought I needed to marry and have kids just to fulfill the relationship - the ultimate proof of love, right?

Don't get me wrong, if you really want this, if this is your dream, then go for it! I'm not judging this. I just think many people out there don't even think about if they really want this for their life. It's just how life goes for most. 

When I'm with my friends, some of them tend to bring up this topic again and again, also asking me about getting a boyfriend and why I didn't bring anybody home in quite a long time. 

Let me tell you this: I don't want to. I don't know anybody I'd want to spend this phase of my life with yet. And that's perfectly fine for me. I love being independent. I love having time for myself. 

I also love a good love story. That's something I realized, too. Give me dramatic and wild love story, I'm completely up for that. Just read the Black Dagger Brotherhood series by J. R. Ward and you'll know what I mean. I also love writing this kind of stuff. I don't know, it's something I enjoy (just as much as writing fighting scenes btw.). It's easy to connect to it because we all felt something like this, experienced stuff that had to do with love and attraction and that went crazy. Life basically is a daily soap. But there's no room for something like this in my own life right now. And people need to accept that.

We don't necessarily need a relationship to find fullfillment. We can be happy on our own. With our family. Our friends. A band we love. Traveling. Our pets. This can be enough. And people need to stop asking us why we're single. Because the answer is easy: Because we want to. 

And as much as I'd love to say this is something that only happens to women - people asking why they're not married yet because, yes, we are still living in the 60s - it's not like that. The same happens to my brother all the time. So we should just focus on what makes us happy. It could be very different from what makes other people happy. Always keep that in mind.


The numbers revealed

So, these are the characters behind the numbers. Some more reasons why they can be seen as the main characters of LOST:

These six are also part of the series from the first to the last day, from the first to the last episode. Each of them makes a decisive contribution to the course of events.

Jack is clearly the main character of the series, with whom it begins and ends (in a strong symbolic cycle).

Locke is his counterpart from the beginning, though not his enemy. And even if in the end he isn't in his own body anymore, he is still responsible for what happens on the island after his departure.

Kate is Jack's Achilles heel from the beginning and at the same time his hold and the reason why he does almost everything he decides to do.

Claire influences the others both in their presence and absence. She is the reason for Kate to return to the island.

Sawyer is the actual hero of the series even though he presents himself as an anti-hero. He mainly influences what happens on the island, especially after the Oceanic 6 left.

And finally, Hurley is the one who brought the numbers into play, and he's the one who takes Jacob's place, who can talk to the dead, and who brings everyone back and makes the decisions when no one else does.

The numbers in LOST - some examples:

- Gate 23 for flight 815
- $23,000 to the guy who delivers Kate.
- 23 as the speed dial that Locke is supposed to dial for Charles Wittmore.
- For four years, Locke was in a wheelchair.
- 16 weeks is the time the jackpot Hurley won was in the pot
- The "J" on Locke's suicide note for Jack looks like a four.
- 108 bottles of wine were sold by the monastery from which Desmond was fired and through which he met Penny.
- It takes 108 minutes for the energy to discharge.
- 4 8 15 16 23 42 must be entered into the PC
- 4 8 15 16 23 42 standing on the hatch
- 4 8 15 16 23 42 were the numbers with which Hurley won the lottery
- 5 (=23) is tattooed on Jack's arm.
- Jack counts to 5 to stop being afraid (Kate also)
- Hurley should set the mirror in the lighthouse to 108 degrees.


42 - Claire Littleton

The answer to everything that holds the world together is 42; this has already taught us "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy". In numerology, the 42 is to be equated with its cross sum 6. For this, it says on herzvertrauen.de: "The number 6 is the number of tests and research and is also called the number of reproduction. It embodies decision making". Associations here are self-knowledge, twosomeness, curiosity, and letting go of one's own children. People with the number 6 or 42 give a lot of love. But they are also dependent and immature.

Claire Littleton draws attention to herself at the beginning of the first season of LOST because she is very pregnant when she arrives on the island. Her pregnancy and later motherhood always play a decisive role for her and the events on the island. The birth of her son Aron and living with him on the island are probably her hardest trials. Decisions also have to do mainly with her son: Should she keep him or give him away?

From the beginning, Claire is never alone on the island. Usually Charlie is with her, her later boyfriend and partner. When he's not there, someone always looks after her. Locke takes care of her and Aron a lot. She's always curious about what's happening and wants to fill her memory gaps at all costs, which she has after her kidnapping by the others. At the end of the fourth season, Kate leaves the island with Aron, while Claire stays behind. So she has to learn to let go of her child.

From the beginning Claire is rarely unfriendly and gives her baby and also Charlie or other friends a lot of love. For example, she encourages Kate that she is a good mother. However, Claire is also dependent on the help of others. Whenever something happens, she rarely intervenes herself but lets the others do it for her. So Charlie has to bring Aron back when Rousseau kidnaps him. Moreover, she is often still immature, which is especially apparent in her reviews with her ex-boyfriend.


23 - Kate Austen

The number 23 is the number of conspiracy theories. In numerology, 23 is equal to the number 5, the cross-sum. The qualities attributed to it include: freedom-loving, untamable, distrustful, versatile, unstable, and eager to be the center of attention.

Kate was on a plane with a US Marshal because she was wanted for the murder of her stepfather, from whom she only learned after his death that he was her biological father. She was also betrayed in Australia by a man she worked for - he received a $23,000 reward for her betrayal. So, conspiracies are no strangers to her.

Her life on the run makes it clear how freedom-loving she is. Jack and Sawyer see that in her, too. This becomes clear when Sawyer tells her “You run, I con” in season two or when Jack asks her why she’s always running away. The same can be seen in her escape from Sawyer when, after his confession of love, they are able to flee from the others and Kate immediately distances herself from him again. Moreover, she couldn't live in a marriage and fled from it back into her unstable old life.

Her past has made her suspicious, and trusting others is difficult. That's why she especially questions Locke's intention as he seems to trust the island unconditionally. It’s hard for her to tell jack the truth, even with minor things like the personal items in the Marshal’s suitcase or when she is seeing Sawyer’s daughter in LA.

She is versatile, can shoot, read tracks and improvise in almost every situation. However, she also likes to be the center of attention, especially when it comes to Jack and Sawyer. For instance, she runs back to Sawyer just after seeing that Jack is paying more attention to Juliet. Her instability is reflected in the fact that she always runs away. The fact that she finds it difficult to decide for Jack completely also plays in this direction.

She can run away from her past, but she can’t run away from being number 23. But who’s the last one in this row?