State of my head #9

The world is a crazy place right now. With the corona virus and the global pandemic... everything seems frozen. 

And I am so frustrated.

It's all weird. I feel weird when I am at work and everyone steps away when they see me. I feel weird stepping away from them. I miss seeing my friends in person and not via video chat. I miss playing handball. 

I had a very special holiday planned this year. It was supposed to be the best experience I ever had. And now it's just gone. And I am so sad and I feel lonely and I feel so bad for saying all of this.

Because I understand why it is necessary.

Don't get me wrong. I know it's right to practice social distancing right now. I know it's right to stay at home. To avoid direct contact to people.

But it still feels weird. And I know I'm not alone in this. I'm not saying I won't do it and I hope everyone out there is doing it, too. Stay at home. Keep your distance. Stop panic shopping for hell's sake.  

But also, please understand that I cannot be all happy and smiling right now. I try but I really can't. There are some people I miss so much and I don't know when I might be able to see them again, talk to them again. My life is chaos, like yours, and it makes me sad from time to time.

It's okay to feel sad about all of this. It's okay to be frustrated. 

So, if you feel like this, feel free to text me. I feel you. All of you. And I'm home anyway. Because it's the right thing to do. And that's so frustrating.