11/04/2016

02/12 - The Constant

"We are fall sometimes, you are not the first. But I know it hurts. Yeah, I know it hurts. In the end you'll find what you deserve. Still I know it hurts. Yeah, I know it hurts." - Alter Bridge
I really thought that this second month went by faster, but now I'm not sure about this anymore. One thing's for certain: I had more fun at work the past thirtyone days. Obvious reasons I guess. You just need the right people sitting next to you. 
Sometimes, you just need to talk about nothing important or make some mean jokes and laugh about some stupid stuff with your colleagues, and this worked pretty well this past month. 
Anyways, it felt like I rushed through time and then stopped for about two weeks again. Time's not a constant and sometimes I wonder who will be my constant when it comes to a bleeding nose. Right now I'd say it's a Black Dagger Brotherhood Warrior named Phury, but we all know that he's not real enough. I'm feeling like this because THE BEAST (PART ONE) came out this month and it brought me back to the world I really would love to live in right now and always. But I also startet to listen to new music, preparing for a rockshow coming up this December. I bought two new CDs and found the complete Black Dagger Soundtrack on them. So maybe it's Miles Kennedy of Alter Bridge? Probably don't know him long enough. How about Jesse Spencer who played Dr. Robert Chase in House M.D.? But my level of trust is not deep enough for him either. Sure, I started to watch this awesome TV series again, but I also know he won't be there during all eight seasons. So how could he be my constant? 
Quite frankly, the answer is easy: of course it's my brother. I visited him in his new apartment in Siegen this month; nice city, even nice place to live. It was good to see him happy there, and I could be happy there, too. I also had a good friend at my place at the beginning of October. Janis came over for a visit, so we could hang out together, talk and just enjoy that our friedship gets fixed by me being away and us noticing how much we miss each other. I spent another weekend with Johnny, who came over to Würzburg again. We just had some good brother-sister-time and a fun evening with friends and games. 
And then I finally went home again for four full days.
The weekend I planned to be the best of the month started with the most terrible event: my little baby bunny Freckles died. Cause of death will remain unclear. My heart is shattered and ripped apart. I will never forgete the little time we had together.
After this happened, it doesn't feel right to write about me having fun at a Halloween party. But the truths is: life must go on. So I met some friends, went to the party and enjoyed my time. In the end, it was even harder to return to Würzburg, but I didn't have a choice, right?

So here I am again, in that city so far away, with a broken heart and feeling sad. This month taught me how hurtful it is to let go. It also taught me how important it is to surround yourself with the right people - private and at work. This month wasn't that bad I guess, but right now it's hard to overlook the sad moments. However, I found people here that make me laugh - and that's what matters right now.

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