It's time to talk about... Murhder

“When do we ever know what we’re walking into,” he said in a low voice. “Destiny is not a straightaway. It’s cluttered with corners and all of them are dark. We make the turns we do… and find ourselves where we are.” 
- J. R. Ward - The Savior

I found this quote very fitting when wanting to describe Murhder, son of Murhder, long lost member of the Black Dagger Brotherhood. When I got the new novel by J. R. Ward, I was wondering why she felt like she had to continue with the story of someone we don’t know instead of focusing on those already in the household. I was disappointed at first – especially when I realized this would also be about John Matthew again. He had always been my least favorite character. Not because I didn’t like him, rather because I didn’t really care. 

So, I started reading this story about all the characters I wasn’t interested in – and I stand corrected. Very much so. Murhder turned out to be one of the loveliest characters this genius author has ever created. There are so many layers to him I wasn’t expecting, so many facets, so much true and honest emotion. 

The very first part about him, written from his perspective, had me so confused and I was very annoyed by that. Now I know that is exactly what this was about. I had to understand his madness first to feel like this all made sense; or why it didn’t. 

I also feared this all wouldn’t be much more than a complication to make the relationship of JM and Xhex somehow interesting again. And how relieved I was to find out that was not at all the purpose! The whole thing about these other two lovers was to show that there are more dangers to this life they all lead than just a fight between husband and wife or an old rival. It was about dealing with death and finding one’s place in this world. This book finally made me like John Matthew as a character (and Xhex even more because it also gave her more layers, more vulnerability). 

Back to the actual star here: Murhder has gone mad. He has done terrible things. But he regrets. And he loves. And he knows about his position and what he did to lose it. He is an honorable man. He is not afraid to show how vulnerable he is. How much it had hurt him, not only to lose his woman but also his brothers. He is the anti-hero who becomes the real hero throughout the story. He heals. He is always truthful and his decisions are all him. I believe every single one of them. He connects it all: past, present and future are combined in his life and his destiny. The destiny he used to believe in, he then doubts and finally trusts again. 

When he finally overcomes his madness and has this talk with Tohrment, everything fell into place. He regains his self-trust, confidence and strength. He fights for his beliefs and his love. And it all pays off. Also, did I mention he’s crazy funny? And the way he treats Sarah made me tear up. 

This man is all I ever wished for in these books. He climbed up straight to number two on my list of BDB vampires I would marry right away. Because he’s still not Phury with all his conflict and struggle and gentleness and three-colored-hair. But he’s exactly the male I think he was.